A COMPANION IN MYSELF (1)

EMOTIONS

U knw its one tin to know that ure loved and another tin feeling loved. Sometimes, life present obstacles that we find difficult to overcome. But like they say, no matter how tight the problem, there is alwys a way out. There was a time i had this girl, who really loved me, not a day went by without she texting or calling me just to know how i was doing. At some point, i had this motive, cant say where it came from but, i just had this crazy feeling. I was like "Why on God's green earth shud i stick 2 this girl wen dea re many i hav hav at my disposal? Y shud i b faithful & loyal 2 this one girl wen i cn date multiple. Life is too short to spend wit jst one girl, m stil young, i'm not even 20 yet, after flexing and living life, den i cn find a girl dat wud love me d way she does." I listened to this voice in my head & took her for granted, she wud call me and i wud sometimes ignore d call, i had 2 oda girls, i no longer hav time for d one dat truly loved and cared about me. With time, she stopped calling or texting and i neva cared, for Damn's sake, there are a lot of girls i cn hang out wit so i neva noticed her absence in my life.

A day came wen i was alone, i felt desolated, i needed someone to hang out with, i called my girls as usual and they wea not available, probably hanging out wit oda guys, den i saw her number on my contact, i called her but she didnt pick, text her but no reply. Whats the big deal? i switched app and started playing Candy Crush.

3 years later, i've been heart-broken 5 times, my heart has been shattered so bad that pain was what i was living in. Every woman is the same, thats what i told myself, but then i recalled the one that truly loved me then, the one that would do anything to please me, i felt regret, i felt hurt, none of the other girls ve dated treated me the way she did. i dialed her number this time and she picked, we talked but she is no longer the one i used to know, she was now in the game just like i was, but i'm tired of the games, ve played it long enough to know its worthless, and i tried telling her that, but its too late. She was like, "Mike, let me be, i just want to be alone, ve learnt that men cnt b pleased no matter wot u do, xo let me flex and live life to d fullest dan give my heart to some jerk." The damage was done, there is nothing i can do. Later on, i fell in love with someone else, i loved her like life itself, i loved her wit every vein in me. We dated 4 months and she wants out, its the same pain over again. For some reason, i feel i deserve the hurt, but havent i suffered enough? just like the one that loved me ran after me, i'm doing the same to this lady i'm in love with, and i know within me that she would b d last lady i wud eva fall in love with, ve tried xo hard to show her i truly care, i cnt let go, but she said she wants to Flex, life is too short to spend it all with one guy, wen d time is right, i'll settle down with a guy of my choice. I cant make her see the dangers ahead, i cant convince her that ve seen hw it all ends. Fine, u may find d guy of ur choice, truth is, ull find him many times, but he may neva take u d way u see him. But m hea nw, m for real, m pleadin, dnt make d same mistake i did, i deserve d hurt, ve learnt to accept its all my fault, m sufferin from d sins of my past, but i swear to u, i love u! and m willin to wait, but d truth is, i dnt knw for how long.

#SPEAKINGFROMEXPERIENCE