DIARIES (ENTRY #23)

SOUR, SWEET & PAIN

My journey as TK’s wife hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park

Our honeymoon in the south of France for seven days was heavenly. We really bonded and had a great time.

I didn’t hear from Emeka and Banke after the wedding. My brother and his family went back to the States and I had to settle into married life all by myself. The fact that I was pregnant made it even worse. I felt so depressed and alone until I met my dear friend and sister…Linda.

One afternoon, I looked into the mirror and I didn’t recognize myself. I was darker and I had put on weight. TK had been traveling so frequently and I could see why he was never at home. I had let go of myself. I wasn’t looking good so I wasn’t feeling very confident and it was affecting our relationship also knowing Banke had been instrumental to TK’s proposal,  made me feel like he didn’t love me and I was gradually withdrawing from him.

That day, I decided to do something about my appearance, so I dragged myself to a salon a few blocks from the house. That was where I met Linda.

Salon Attendant: What do you want to do ma?

Me: Please just cut the hair or something.

Salon Attendant: Ma what kind of style do you want to cut?

Me: Just a low cut… no style, just cut it.

Linda was sitting on the chair next to me and she interjected

Linda; Please don’t cut this your fine hair o. I wish my hair was like your own.

I forced a smile and didn’t respond, I was hoping she would get the message. She ignored my cold response and continued.

Linda: I understand. I have been through this four times. Don’t make any hasty decisions the discomfort will pass soon. Braids usually helps, there’s no need to brush your hair every morning.

Me: Thank you.

I was hoping she would get the message and let me make my hair in peace, she kept talking and after a while I began to find some of what she was saying useful. She gave me tips to help me deal with cravings, nausea, insomnia and all the symptoms I complained about. I discovered we lived down the road from each other and very soon we were going shopping together and booking spa treatments…Linda was so easy to confide in, we soon became friends. She was also a housewife so she was good company.

While my relationship with Linda blossomed, my relationship with my husband was fast becoming extinct. As I entered the second trimester of the pregnancy and started showing, TK insisted on sleeping in separate bedrooms because he didn’t want to disturb me while he worked late at night. As a result, we would go weeks without him even touching me he always made sure I had everything I needed and was financially well taken care of but I had no one to talk to except Linda who was always willing to listen. Eventually, six months into our marriage it was time for me to go to America. I was to stay with my brother and his family until l I had the baby. The night before I left I decided to talk to my husband about the situation of our marriage

Me: TK, please can I talk to you?

TK: Of course! Are you ok?

Me: Not really

TK: What’s the matter? Have you been keeping your ante-natal appointments?

Me: No it’s not that. The baby is ok. It’s us not the baby.

TK: What’s wrong with us?

Me: I don’t think this is how a marriage should be. We don’t spend time together, you don’t touch me, and we don’t talk. I hardly know where you are or what is going on with you. It’s funny that I felt closer to you when I was your personal assistant than I do now as your wife.

TK: So whose fault is that?

Me: I don’t know but I have tried my best. I thought maybe the pregnancy was taking its toll on me so I tried to take care of myself and look better for you. I try to initiate conversation, try to make sure I personally prepare and serve your meals. I feel like a piece of furniture. Since we got back from the honeymoon, you have treated me like your sister.

TK: Not like you even deserve to be treated like my sister!

Me: What did I do TK? Why are you so distant? I know you are not in love with me but you promised to try your best to make me happy.

TK: That was before I found out that you lied to me! Your lover from the past came and made you a proposition and you hid it from me. Or did you think I won’t find out?

Me: I knew your mother would tell you about what she heard. But I married you TK. I married you!

TK; you married me because I was the better option, admit it! You married me for my money!  I thought you were different, you are like the rest of them. You probably didn’t take the money my mother offered you because you were looking at the bigger picture. Why take the golden egg when you can have the goose that lays the eggs?

I couldn’t believe we were back here having this conversation again!

Me: I can’t believe we are back here…having this conversation. I’m so hurt. I chose you because I wanted to give you the chance you asked for, I wanted to give my child the complete family I never had, and I believed we could make this work. Not because of your money!

TK: So why did you hide it from me? Why didn’t you tell me? Do you know how foolish I felt hearing it from my mother? I am sure you can imagine the smirk on her face the day she told me with all pleasure.

I knew I had wronged him and I had to fix it. He was my husband and I should have told him especially when I realized the Duchess knew about Emeka’s visit the night before the wedding. I didn’t know what to do so I got on my two knees and for the first time I addressed my husband in Yoruba

Me: Olowo Ori Mi, Ade ori mi … jor ma binu(The one who has paid my dowry, the crown of my head…I’m sorry).

TK: That apology is six months too late Anjola.

With that my husband left me kneeling there and walked away.

——————————————————————————————————————————————The day before my due date I got a surprise visitor in my brother’s house in New York. It was TK he said he didn’t want to miss the birth of his child. I was so elated. Prior to his arrival I was considering my options the thought of spending the rest of my life with a man that treated me like a stranger was too scary for me.

TK was there for our daughter’s birth and it meant the world to me. When TK held our daughter in his arms for the first time, I will never forget what he said to me.

TK: Anjolaoluwa thank you.

Me: For?

TK: For this priceless gift. I’m sorry for the way I have been since we got married. It was just really painful to realize you were in love with someone else the whole time. I think my ego was bruised. Please forgive me.

Me: I forgive you TK and your apology means the world to me.

That was the beginning of the turning point in our relationship. TK became friendly, courteous and as promised he was an amazing father to our daughter whom he had decided to name Oladunni (wealth is pleasurable).

I had set my eyes on the Duchess only once since the wedding, it was on TK’s dad’s birthday and she had treated me so badly, I had left the party in tears. I refused to follow TK back to his parent’s house for any reason after that and the Duchess never turned up at our house until the day of the christening. She came bearing gifts and even though she did not ask for my forgiveness I knew she wanted a relationship with her first grandchild and I knew the act was a way of telling me she was accepting our daughter. I was so happy until she struck; I just knew the whole thing was too good to be true.

The Duchess: My son tells me he is ready to make your marriage work. I really underestimated you; you are more cunning than I thought.

Me: That is not true. He knows I am with him for all the right reasons.

The Duchess: And what are they? Love? Surely dear you know better than that.

She had a point. We were married and had a child but my husband had never for once told me he loved me.

The Duchess: Welcome to the family Anjola. My eyes are on you. Remember that.

At that point, I knew there was no winning with the Duchess, my best option was to focus on making my husband happy and keeping my home intact.

On our first wedding anniversary, I wasn’t sure TK would remember but he did and he took me to dinner and bought me a really expensive set of jewelry all of that didn’t mean as much to me as what happened later on. We had gotten home from dinner and I was going back to my bedroom (we were still keeping separate bedrooms) when he asked me to accompany him to his. We went to his bedroom together. I was nervous we hadn’t made love since the baby came and even months before then. Infact quite frankly I couldn’t remember the last time we had made love.

TK: Anjola, I want you to move your things back here. We are married we shouldn’t be sleeping in separate bedrooms.

My heart leapt for joy and I nodded.

TK: This last one year with you, I have grown to admire you. You are a strong woman, the way you carry yourself, the way you handle my mother so calmly even when I know you are about to erupt. I mean I know you can be stubborn and feisty but since we got married you have humbled yourself and submitted to me even when I was acting like a complete jerk. Your behavior has been very admirable.

Anjola; Thank you.  Tk that means a lot to me.

TK: I mean every word Anjola. In fact it has really endeared you to me.

I blushed, my heart was melting.

TK: What I am trying to say Anjola is I love you. There I said it! Somewhere along the way I have fallen in love with you Anjie. I love you!

Me: I love you too TK.

Those were the words I had been waiting to hear for over a year and my heart was so full of joy I burst into tears. He held me in his hands and that night we made love. Afterwards, our marriage became a source of joy to me and for that I was most grateful.

Until the true test of our love, a nightmare that we now pretend never happened began.

One Tuesday night, I had just put Oladunni to bed and I was preparing TK’s dinner when I got a phone call from TK’s old friend and the head of the legal department at Octave Asset Management, Femi Osinowo. He said he needed to talk to TK and he hadn’t been able to reach him for hours. I also tried his phones and they were all off. I got really worried and called everyone I could think of even the Duchess no one had seen or heard from him.

At about 1am TK stumbled into the house…drunk! He was stumbling through the house and knocking things over. I had never seen my husband like that and I was scared.

Me: Tokunboh what is all this? What is wrong with you?

TK: We are going down baby, we are all going down.

Me: Going down to where? What’s going on?

TK: There is fire on the mountain and nobody seems to be on the run…. (Singing)

I quickly called Femi. Whatever was wrong Femi knew about it and that was why he had been looking for TK so frantically. Femi assured me he was on his way. I got TK settled on the couch and he immediately passed out while I waited for Femi.

He came in the middle of the night at about 2am holding some files.

Me: Femi what is going? TK was saying something about us going down.

Femi: Anjola some serious s*#t is about to hit the fan. Are you sure you are ready for this?

Me: Please just talk.

Femi: Remember while you were still at Octave, TK got some clients to move funds to Octave so we would increase out profit margins before our books got audited for year end. It was supposed to be a short term investment and we promised the investors higher returns for the funds because we were desperate.

I nodded, the transaction had occurred almost immediately I had resumed at Octave but I remembered.

Femi: The funds were misappropriated and weren’t invested as agreed. The funds were invested in a private enterprise TK was involved in. Unfortunately it did not work out as planned and now the investors want their money back and the interest promised. We haven’t been able to recoup the money and so they are suing Octave Asset Management. Their aim is to take us to the cleaners.

Me: Ok so why can’t we just raise the money and give them back before this gets ugly?

Femi: Anjola you don’t understand. The money in question is almost a billion naira. Octave Asset Management could lose its license and TK could go to jail for embezzlement and fraud.

I sank into the nearest chair. Why couldn’t I have five minutes of happiness in my life? Every time I seemed to be happy for a few minutes something bad happened. Was I jinxed?

Me: What are the options here Femi? What can we do?

Femi: We need to keep the press away for now even if we have to pay to do so. TK is an easy target. His family name will make it so much easier for the media to sensationalize the story and very soon it would be bigger than all of us.

Me: Femi just tell me how I can help. I would do anything!

Femi: I have finally convinced TK to tell his mother so the Duchess can step in. She has the money and connections to make this go away soon but you have to stay out of the limelight for a bit. You can’t get involved for now.

Me: Why? I am his wife! I should show my support and help him through this!

Femi sighed and opened one of the files. He handed some documents over to me. I took them and scanned through them and tears instantly filled my eyes. My signature was all over the documents, initiating transfer instructions and sometimes concurring or endorsing instructions. All of these had been at TK’s request and had happened in my first few months at Octave. I had been doing my job each time, simply following instructions but I knew that wouldn’t hold water in the court of law.

I wasn’t too knowledgeable about the law and how it worked, but from what I could tell if TK went down, I was going down with him.