EMOTIONAL BIOGRAPHY 1

EPISODE ONE.

INTRO.

Now i can go for a title like "TALE OF LOVE", "THE HEART-BREAK", "BETRAYAL", those titles that would attract attention like nollywood's "THE SNAKE GIRL", whereas the only reason the SNAKE was added to the GIRL was because she was bitten by some random snake at some point in the movie, and nothing else. No connection whatsoever with the Title and the actual story of the movie. so ill just name this...

EMOTIONAL BIOGRAPHY.

"Are you for real? Thats my best song as well", i lied once again to match the picture of this perfect guy she's being creating in her head. Who loves OWL CITY, havent heard a track off their album, not even once, and here i am claiming a song i dont know is my best song. This wasnt how i planned it to be, this is the exact opposite of my expectations, but i gotta play along, the question right now is, how much am i willing to sacrifice to fit perfectly inside her world? My friends keep asking, is it possible to have feelings for 2 women at the same time, and ill say YES, but that isnt LOVE, its LUST.

Now if you care to know...

4 Years back, i was a virgin, women didnt really matter to me, i was so focused on my academics that you'll think i was under a spell to always read. Actually, i hated women, why?
Last Week 4 Years ago, i had to walk over a Kilometer just to get CHIPS AND CHICKEN for my best friend, his girlfriend or so i thought came visiting, the dude was broke, he's got just enough for the CHICKEN AND CHIPS or CHIPS AND CHICKEN, put it anyway it suits you, but he's got no fare for my transport to get the CHICKEN AND CHIPS. We lived in quite an area, i can swear it doesnt appear on the map, not even Google Maps. After walking minutes under the hot scorching sun just to help my best friend please his girlfriend, i returned home expecting a warm welcome filled with appreciation only to get this; "For Chirst's Sake, MiKE! Would It Kill To KNOCK Before Barging In?". Need i tell you what they were doing? Arghh! Forget it.

An Hour Later...

MIKE: Like seriously Dan, Did you honestly ask me that? " Would It Kill To KNOCK Before Barging In?", in my own room?

DAN: Jeez! Do you have to bring that up?

MIKE: Of course, for God's sake, i dont even get to have a THANK YOU? Or I'M SORRY?

DAN: First of all Mike, we both own the room, and second of all, i'm quite busy right now, thinking about how to make it up to this girl.

MIKE: Hey, you paid just 30% of the rent, and the only reason i actually put up the "ROOM MATE NEEDED" sign up front is because i sort of needed money urgently. You spent your last penny buying a dessert you definitely havent eaten for months just to sleep with a girl and you tell me you're quite busy thinking of how to make it up to her? Are you crazy or just dumb?

DAN: You saw us NAKED! N-A-K-E-D NAKED!!! Do you know what that means? You took away her pride, her dignity, her... jeez! dont you get it?

MIKE: Its not as if i had a camera or something? so whats the big deal?

DAN: Let me let you on, OK? You were expected to be in the library when she arrived, that was the initial plan. You being home FUCKED everything up, i sent you on that errand because we wanted to get rid of you and have the room to ourselves, we had no FUCKING IDEA you've lived in the Barracks to be able to walk that fast.

MIKE: Pardon?

DAN: You heard me right MIKE.

MIKE: You know, if you had just asked, i would have gone to the library and let you two do your thing, but wasting my precious time, my energy, under this burning sun, because you want to have sex with your girlfriend, ill never forg...

DAN: (Cuts In) ...some random girl actually, not my girlfriend.

See? if my room mate would trick me that deep because of a woman, making me risk my life all because he wants to experience pleasure with some random girl, then, trust me, that guy could kill me for his girlfriend. I decided my fight wasnt with him, it was with the opposite gender. Fair enough, 3 weeks later, i gave him back his remaining rent and he went on. That wasnt even my idea, i only gave a Fair Rule or condition rather...

MIKE: Dan, from this day on forth, ill have no one bring a female into this room, and i mean it. You said you hated BLUES, i hid all my R&B CDs, you prefer TRACE TV to NatGEO, i endured the noise while you rocked my Home Theater, now i'm telling you what i dont want.

DAN: I'm Cool with that.

2 weeks later...

DAN: I think i'm gonna quit, maybe get another room mate or live somewhere else. Whats fhe essence of a room if it isnt being used as a room.

MIKE: Are you telling me you cant live a year without sex?

DAN: It seems so.

MIKE: Alright. Ill get you your remaining rent by next week.

Maybe he's sick, that guy is definitely sick, i've been a Virgin up till now, i mean, A Pure Virgin, No kisses, No Hugs, no contact whatsoever beyond the ordinary with the opposite sex, and he cant live without sex?. For some reason, i felt its like a drug, once you're in, you've got to maintain the frequency or something bad might happen to you, even though Biology didnt teach me that, i love to lean on my INSTINCTS. Ever since then, i've hated women with passion, i see them as a distraction. When i see them with tight short skinny shorts and torn tight jeans, ill think to myself, "She doesnt know her size or what?" but then again, i love to mind my business, like i said, it seemed i was cursed to always read.

3 Years later, i was in the school lobby when this girl walked up to me. Gosh! she was so pretty, more prettier than Miss Matilda, our MTH112 Lecturer, my eye balls locked with hers the moment she stood in front of me, i was speechless as i kept staring at her face. Then she spoke, "Mike, do you have a copy of the Exam's Timetable, some freak tore off the copy posted on the Notice Board", Luckily, i've always got two of everything, Pens, Pencils, Rulers, Name it, anything that can come in handy, i handed her one and she happily walked away. Dont worry, this isnt Nollywood or Hollywood, it wasnt Love at first sight, i was actually staring at her because her face looked familiar, YES! i remember, she is my department's handout vendor, i've bought a few handouts from her some time ago. Her name? I dont remember.

EPISODE 2.

Oh, you are probably curious as to how she knew my name, right? When you buy an handout, your name is written down along with your matric number so the lecturer awards you a certain amount of marks for doing good businss with him/her. You should undertstand me, 90% of we/us/you are students.

To Be Continued...