BELLA'S MEMOIRS (ENTRY #5)

SILENCE IS THE BEST ANSWER

Dear Diary,

I couldn’t concentrate on anything at work. Not like I am particularly interested in anything that goes on at the office but at least I occasionally tried to show some level of dedication. I had barely a few weeks left in my service year and I wasn’t particularly sure what I wanted to do afterwards. That was why when my boss Mr. Johnson called me into his office to offer me a job after my service year, instead of my heart leaping for joy, I started palpitating. The thought of coming there every day for an indefinite amount of time was scary. What had gotten me through the service year was the fact that it was only one year and I had been counting down from day one.

Mr. Johnson: Bella, you don’t seem excited. Don’t you like working here?

Bella: I do sir. I guess I was just caught off guard by the offer.      

Mr. Johnson: I wonder why because for us, it was a unanimous decision. You are good at your job, you get along with the team and you are a fast learner. I wonder what else we could be looking out for in a staff. So you would need to go to Human Resources to discuss your conversion into a full staff.

Bella: Please sir, I need some time to think about it.

Mr. Johnson: That’s not a problem, just let me know in a week or less. We have kept a position open for you all this while if you would not be staying with us we need to fill the position ASAP.

Bella: That’s fair enough sir. Thank you for the opportunity.       

I had two options: I could stay back at the company where I was serving and have been offered a ‘good’ job I hated or I could join my father in his Asset Management Company. Neither of the options were appealing to me. I was about to really start my life and I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. Absolutely no idea.

I figured talking to my dad would help so after work that day, I drove straight to his office. His secretary told me he was in a meeting and offered to let him know I was around but I told her I’d just wait. About an hour later, he walked in. My dad Adetokunboh Ayo-Kessington is the sort of man I hope I marry someday. Yes I know he is not perfect and sometimes he is unnecessarily arrogant and stubborn but truth be told he is a selfless dad and an amazing husband to my stepmom Anjola. He is also handsome, tall and very stylish.

He was surprised to find me in his waiting room. He flashed me a dimpled smile.

My Daddy: Bella! What a pleasant surprise! Why didn’t anyone let me know you were here?

He turned towards his secretary and I immediately jumped to her defense.

Me: I asked her not to bother you Daddy. I just wanted to come see you, it’s not urgent.

He had a wide grin on his face and I blushed… gosh I love my dad so much! He came over and hugged me.

My Daddy: Come on let me take you to dinner.

He motioned to his secretary to pack up his things as we headed for the elevator.

He asked one of the office drivers to take my car to The Villa and we walked to the car park because apparently he had driven himself to work in his two door convertible which my stepmom absolutely hates.

Me: Daddy! You’re still driving this car to work, I thought you and Ms. A had reached a compromise that you could only drive it on weekends.

My Daddy: Oh she told you about that. Please I have my toys and she has hers. Do you see me giving her grief about how many pairs of shoes she has? I have had to ask them to renovate the dressing room and extend it a bit so I can have room for my own stuff. Her things are everywhere!

Me: Awwwww…just look at how you smile when you talk about her. You’re so cheesy.

He smiled as we pulled out of the car park.

Me: You know she thinks you are having a midlife crisis because of this car.

My Daddy: I think she is the one having the midlife crisis. Have you seen how much weight she’s lost? She is taking this whole fitfam thing a bit too seriously! I am an African man please, I like my women curvy.

Me: Daddy you’re so silly!

My Daddy: You know you only get away with saying stuff like that to me because you didn’t grow up here. It is not okay to call your dad silly in this part of the world.

I stuck my tongue out at him and said,

Me: Roger that!

I had been saying that a lot lately…thanks to Okechukwu. About Okechukwu…Hold on right now it’s all about my daddy.

We went to his favourite restaurant in Victoria Island and while we waited for our food to arrive, he asked.

My Daddy: So, when do you want to start at the office? Service ends in three weeks right?

I nodded. He looked so excited, I didn’t know how to break it to him.

Me: My boss offered me a permanent position at the office today.

My Daddy: Wow that’s great! It means you did well there but you turned it down right?

Me: Not yet Daddy. He gave me a week to decide.

My Daddy: Well Princess, there is nothing to decide just let him know you would be coming to work with me and learn the ropes.

Me: That’s the thing Daddy. I don’t want to accept the offer and I don’t want to work at Octave.            

My Daddy: Wow. For some reason, I just assumed you would be excited to come and join me. I mean I would love you to take over the company someday.

Me: I know Daddy and from the first day you told me you wanted that for me, I have tried to want it for myself but it’s just not working.

My Daddy: What would you like to do after NYSC ends then?

Me: I don’t know Daddy.

I held my breath. I was expecting him to tell me I was irresponsible and unserious but much to my surprise, he smiled and then said:

My Daddy: You remind me so much of myself. I had no clue of what I wanted to do with my life until I was almost thirty years old and by then I had built a successful career in Asset Management and the thought of starting over scared me.

Me: So if you could turn back the hands of time what would you have done?

My Daddy: I definitely would have done something in hospitality. Maybe a chain of hotels and restaurants. Lounges, Bars…You know your Daddy likes the good life.

He definitely did!

My Daddy: Anyways, here’s what we are going to do…I am giving you a year off to discover yourself and do whatever you want. Travel, take cooking classes, learn how to dance…no belly dancing and pole dancing classes would be allowed though.

We both laughed.

My Daddy: Just take a year off to discover yourself and figure out your passion. I will be here to support you a hundred percent. No pressures for work or a career, and all that. This time next year we would have this conversation again and by then you better have an answer better than “I don’t know”.

I was overwhelmed by my father’s understanding and generosity.

Me: Daddy I don’t know what to say. Thank you.

My Daddy: You know Bella I feel so guilty that I wasn’t there for the first twenty years of your life. I can’t even imagine how many times in the past you needed to have this kind of conversation with your father and I wasn’t there. I know your mum tried her best but with you and Oladunni in my life, I understand the role of a father in a young girl’s life. I am trying to play catch up and you have also been kind enough to meet me halfway. So just know you don’t have to have all the answers because you have your daddy and daddy is always in your corner.

I got very emotional and he reached across the table and squeezed my hand. It was a conversation I knew I would never forget.

My daddy is in my corner. It was enough for me and I was ready to take on the world!

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Now to the other man in my life, a certain Mr. Okechukwu Okonkwo. After his declaration of wanting me and not letting me go, I was sure I hadn’t lost him and so I set my plan to motion. My plan was simple…silence. That was all, complete and utter silence. I did not respond to his message, refused to take his calls, refused to come outside when he came to The Villa twice and even asked the office receptionist to tell him I was out of town on official assignment when he came to the office.

It was hard for me not to call or see him but I needed to teach him a lesson that would not be easily forgotten. If he wanted me he had to earn me, he had to work to keep me and he had to stoop to conquer. His arrogant attitude wasn’t going to cut it with me because I wasn’t after him because of his popularity or his money and so he had to take a bite of the humble pie to be with me.

I had successfully avoided him for almost three weeks until one evening I was lying on my bed watching a movie when I heard a knock on my door. It was The Duchess, I was surprised because she never comes to my room. She either called me on the intercom from her private quarters or asked one of the housekeepers to call me. I rushed to open the door.

Me; Grandma! Are you okay?

The Duchess: Yes Bella. There is a young man outside who wouldn’t leave the gate. I was out in the garden when I heard the ruckus at the gate and was told he was requesting for you. I have had him searched and he is unarmed.

Me: I am not expecting anyone.

The Duchess: I bet you are not darling but the guards at the gate confirmed he has been here to visit you a couple of times so whatever your reason is for asking them not to let him in please go and sort it out. This is not the sort of neighborhood where people constitute a nuisance at the gate.

I was so mortified! Of course it was Okechukwu! By the time I got downstairs, they had let him in and he was standing in the garden. I stopped in my tracks when I saw him and we just stood there looking at each other. Surely he wasn’t expecting me to make the first move!!!

Okechukwu: You know they say the distance between two points is always a straight line.

I just knew he would expect me to walk over to him. I folded my arms across my chest in defiance.

Me: What is your point?

Okechukwu: My point is I am not sober enough to walk a straight line.

Me: Then stay where you are.

He laughed and then made his way towards me…he was obviously tipsy. Hence, the ruckus (as The Duchess had called it) at the gate.

He came so close I could feel his alcohol-laced breath on my face.

Okechukwu: Don’t ever do that to me again!

Me: Do what?

Okechukwu: Push me away. Don’t you ever do that again!

Me: You’re drunk.

Okechukwu: Not drunk. Tipsy. Tipsy enough to cause a scene at your gate and embarrass myself and come to pour my heart out.

He came to pour his heart out and mine was beating so fast, I could have sworn he could see it beating through my shirt.

Me: I think you should go.

Okechukwu: I can’t go! I can’t think, I can’t concentrate, I can’t work, and I can’t do anything because I keep thinking about you! When something happens you’re the first person I want to tell, I miss your smell, your smile. I just can’t deal with it anymore. Stop ignoring me.

Me: Why?

Okechukwu: What do you want me to say? I already told you why.

Me: That’s not good enough for me!

I turned around as though as I was walking away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close.

Okechukwu: Don’t do this Bella. Please.

Me: Why?

Okechukwu: I don’t know why.

Me: When you know why let’s talk.

Okechukwu: Ok. Ok. Bella Ayo-Kessington I want you.

Me: What does wanting me mean?

Okechukwu: I want to be with you.

Me: So?

Okechukwu: You’re impossible. Bella would you do me the honour of being my girlfriend?

Me: But you already have a girlfriend.

He let go of my arm but held his hand against his head in frustration. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable.

Okechukwu: I will sort out the issue with Ese. I swear.

Me: Good. Do you promise to stop being arrogant and rude to my friends and I?

Okechukwu: Yes Bella.

Me: Do you promise to stop lying to me and conveniently hiding things from me?

Okechukwu: Yes Bella.

Me: Then the answer is yes.

He smiled like a child who just got a really cool toy. Ok that comparison is just wrong…I certainly don’t want him to think of me as his toy. I tilted my head up and stood on my toes so he could kiss me. I had been waiting for him to do that for weeks. He put his hand on my waist and pulled me closer, he lowered his lips to mine and I closed my eyes in anticipation of his kiss when I heard him say,

Okechukwu: Beg for it Bella.

Huh? Beg for it??? He was supposed to be the one begging because I was teaching him a lesson but I was desperate to kiss him, his lesson could resume later.

Me: Please kiss me.

Okechukwu: Not tonight Bella.

He gave me a kiss on my forehead and was gone before I could say a word.