BELLA'S MEMOIRS (ENTRY #8)

LOVE'S HANGOVER

It was day three and still no word from Okechukwu.

I was feeling something I couldn’t explain. It was like a tightness in my chest, I hadn’t been crying, hadn’t been sleeping…I was numb and I knew it was because I was in denial. I was dreading the day I would wake up to reality and the floodgates would be opened and then I knew I would be broken for sure.

After my dad had handed me that envelope I had been so mad at him that I immediately got in my car and headed back to The Villa. Thankfully, The Duchess was on a flight the next morning for her bi-annual medical checkup in the States. She was to be gone for two weeks and I was glad. I needed space, I hadn’t even stepped out of the house for three days. All I did was eat, sleep and stare at the offensive envelope my dad had handed me. It was lying there on my dresser taunting me morning and night. I hadn’t opened it.

I was lying down in my room listening to my Adele playlist (we had really been bonding over the last couple of days) when I heard a knock on my door. I was sure it was Iya Bade the housekeeper coming to give me food. I looked at the time on my bedside clock, it was 3pm and I hadn’t eaten all day or taken a shower. I remembered her bringing breakfast at about 9am, I had asked her to drop it by my door. It was probably still there.

Me: Iya Bade please drop the food. I will come and carry it myself.

She ignored me and continued knocking. I opened the door and standing there was my stepmom Anjola not Iya Bade as I had presumed.

Me: Wow. I didn’t know you were coming.

Ms. A: Of course you didn’t. I haven’t heard from you since the party and so I had to come and check on you.

She said as she breezed past me into the room. She looked around at the mess and then put her hand on her hips.

Ms. A: What happened with Okechukwu, because I know breakup grieving when I see it?

That was all I needed to unlock the floodgates that had formed a lump in my chest. I tried to tell her I was fine but instead of actual words, a loud croak came out and then I burst into tears. She rushed towards me and ushered me to the bed, and just held me for a while until I stopped crying and then she asked.

Ms. A: What happened?

Me: I don’t really want to talk about it.

Ms. A: Oh you must. If I am going to be arrested for murder I must be able to explain to the judge why I did it because I am definitely killing that young man.

I laughed, we both did and it felt good to actually laugh. I opened up to her about everything.  I told her about how he had told me initially that I would fall hard but he was only here for the adventure and nothing more. Told her about Ese and how I had no concrete evidence that she was actually out of the picture. I told her about his childhood and how it scarred him…I held nothing back including the fact that he had refused to sleep with me even when I had offered myself on a platter of gold. I told her everything except about the envelope my dad had given me. I was afraid she would somehow convince me to open it and I really didn’t want to.

She was quiet for a while as if deep in thought and then she said:

Ms. A: Bella, I think of you like the younger sister God blessed me with later in life. I won’t lie to you, I don’t think these are good signs. Okechukwu sounds like he genuinely cares for you but he seems to be a bit troubled. I think he needs to fight his battles and then you can consider being together, right now he is more likely to hurt you than anything else.

Me: Isn’t that why he needs me? To help him through it?

Ms. A: Bella, you don’t know how much of myself I see in you. I lost my mum as a teenager and I also did not grow up with my father. It affected me in ways I did not realize. Remember how we met the first time?

I nodded. How could I forget, she had come to the house my dad had rented for me in Ikoyi to ask me to speak to my dad on her behalf after he had kicked her out for allegedly having an affair. It had long become a distant memory but I remembered everything especially the harsh words I had said to her as I asked her to leave.

Ms. A: I almost lost your father because I couldn’t trust him. I almost slept with another man and ruined my marriage because I felt that I was not good enough for your father. Why would a man so handsome and powerful and rich love me? What did I have to offer? Every day I infused drama into my marriage unconsciously trying to sabotage it because I felt it would not work. One day he’d wake up and leave me. I had concluded that I wasn’t good enough so I understand Okechukwu’s point about this feeling of not being enough for someone you love. It cripples you and makes you push them away. He is trying to push you away to protect himself from getting hurt when you leave him.

Me: But I have no plans of doing so!

Ms. A: I know darling but he doesn’t know. You can’t prove it to him, you have to let him realize it on his own and then come to you. The more you try to prove that you will never leave him the more you will push him away. He needs to trust you on his own otherwise your relationship will never work. Trust me I know.

Me: So what do I do now?

Ms. A: You take a shower, get dressed, go out and have a great time because you cannot put your life on hold waiting for him to get his act together. You’re too young to be acting as though your life is over.

I smiled. I wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere.

Ms. A: In fact there is a high class society event happening on Friday. Your dad and I were sent invitations but he has to be in Abuja that day so I was going to go with Linda but I think I will give you the invites, you should go with  a friend…make sure it’s  a female friend because who knows, you may meet someone there.  The dress code is black tie.

Me: It’s ok. You and Aunt Linda can go I will just go and see a movie or something with my friends.

Ms. A: Now here’s the deal – if you want Okechukwu to come crawling with his tail between his legs, you are going to have to step up your game. There is going to be a lot of press there and I bet you have your picture in every fashion magazine by Sunday evening. Plus I cannot pass up the opportunity to buy you a ridiculously expensive dress with your dad’s money of course.

I knew she wasn’t going to let it go and so I gave in.

Vanessa was so excited…she was my date to the event. Apparently, it was THE event of the year and invites were usually very limited and in Vanessa’s words “to die for”. Ms. A had gone all out getting me the right outfit. She had gotten a hairstylist and makeup artist…it felt like prom all over again and it made me really long for a warm hug from my mum and maybe Okechukwu. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him! It was now six days since our “break-up”; still no word, no call, no text…nothing! I was still upset with my dad and the only reason I had agreed to go to my parents’ house to get ready for the event was because he had travelled for a business meeting.

The dress was amazing…it was a floor length black dress with a little tail. It had gold embroidery in front and a bow at the back which was a deep V. It was …sexy! That was the only word. The sleeves fell off my shoulders and the neckline was a deep V like the back. I had on a pair of gold sandals and my makeup made me look like a model. Ms. A had decided to lend me her anniversary gift from my dad…a gold and diamond necklace with matching earrings. It meant a lot to me because I knew it was really expensive and she had never worn it.

Just before Vanessa and I got into our chauffeured Escalade (My dad’s car) Ms. A said to me:

Ms. A: Bella you are young and beautiful and the world is your oyster. I want you to go out tonight and enjoy being you, have a great time, smile and meet people. Please promise me you will have a good time.

Me: I promise.

The event was indeed a grand affair, and Vanessa seemed to know everyone (from a distance). She knew their names, what they did for a living, who they were dating and all the drama in their lives.

Me: Vanessa I am the jobless one. How do you keep up with work and still have time to keep up with the lives of the high and mighty.

Vanessa; I am a great ‘multitasker’. I keep up at work, I am always at the internet.

Vanessa obviously wasn’t taking her job as a business development officer at an Oil and Gas serving firm very seriously. I saw some of my dad’s friends and associates and I was really starting to relax and have a great time.

Vanessa: I’ll be right back, I need to find the ladies.

Me: Please don’t be long I don’t want have to stand here by myself.

We had gone to the bar to have cocktails and now she wanted to jump ship.

Vanessa; if I don’t go soon I am going to pee on my body. I’ll be right back.

She waltzed off in her floor length navy blue dress and I smiled at her exaggerated catwalk as she made her way to the ladies. I couldn’t blame her though, there were so many good looking guys there. I heard a voice behind me that brought me out of my reverie.

May I get you another glass of champagne?

Thinking it was a waiter, I spun around holding my glass out to him, but it wasn’t a waiter. It was a guy in a really expensive looking suit. He wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but he was impeccably dressed and he had the billionaire smell…he was definitely wearing an Oud fragrance. I smiled at him, it was time to activate flirty Bella and try to distract myself for the rest of the evening.

Me: Yes you may.

I said. He took the glass from me and came back seconds later with another.

Him:My name is Yinka Ayodeji.

He said as he handed the glass to me.

Me: Bella Ayo-Kessington

Yinka: Hmmmm. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

Me: Thank you.

Yinka: You are absolutely stunning. I’ve been trying to get your attention all evening but you and your friend seemed too engrossed in the little party you were having all by yourself.

Me: What party are you referring to?

Yinka: You think I didn’t notice you guys rating everyone’s dressing as they walked through the door?

Ouch…busted! I had told Vanessa what we were doing was pretty obvious.

Me: Ok busted!

We both laughed.

Yinka: What did you rate me?

Me: Vanessa gave you a 10 for your outfit I think.

Yinka: And what did you give me?

Me: 9 and a half.

Yinka: Ouch my ego is so bruised right now. So what happened to the remaining half?

Me: Nothing. Sometimes you just need to hold on to your half. No need to be so generous on the first night.

Yinka: First night huh? Meaning there would be more to come?

Me: Don’t push your luck.

We were there for another forty five minutes deep in conversation, I didn’t even realize Vanessa had never returned from her trip to the ladies, until I saw her coming towards me with a mischievous look on her face. I introduced her to Yinka and then she told me she had something urgent to tell me.

We stepped aside and she whispered into my ear:

Vanessa: Guess who’s here?

I didn’t have to answer her. I saw him over her head. He was wearing a black suit that was obviously tailored…a perfect fit, a crisp white shirt, no tie, just a fuchsia pink pocket square with matching socks. He had on his usual jewelry – a Cartier hand chain and a really expensive ring with a black diamond. He looked like he had just rolled off the cover of GQ. I knew he would be wearing his woody perfume…the one that always sent a warm shiver down my spine. I wanted to run over and hug him and drink in his scent but I was frozen on the spot. He scanned the room and his gaze landed on me. He smiled with the corner of his lips, nodded at me and then walked over to a table where a really gorgeous lady in a red dress stood up to give him a hug. He kissed her on both cheeks and then took his seat.

I wanted to crawl up into ball and roll home. Had he moved on so quickly?

Vanessa: Did your boyfriend just ignore you to go to sit with another woman?

Me: He is not my boyfriend anymore Vanessa.

Vanessa: What??? When? Why? You didn’t tell me anything.

Me: Vee please not now. I will tell you about it later.

Yinka was still standing there so Vanessa went off to talk to some people she knew and I was left alone with Yinka once again. We decided to take a little walk outside. Now going outside required us walking past Okechukwu’s table…I could feel his gaze on me all the way from his table. I didn’t have to look but I knew he was staring at me. As we got closer to the exit there were throngs of people coming and going and so Yinka put his hand on my lower back to guide me out; that was when I looked over my shoulder at Okechukwu, our eyes met and the expression on his face could not be mistaken… it was a look of raw anger!

A few minutes after exchanging phone numbers and engaging in witty banter that left both of us thirsty, Yinka offered to go back in and get us something to drink. I was alone outside waiting for him to come back when I spotted the man whose presence had been taunting me all evening, walking towards me.

Okechukwu: Hi Bella

Me: Hi

Okechukwu: We need to talk. Let’s get out of here.

He took my hand was about to usher me out of the compound. This was classic Okechukwu, we’d had a misunderstanding, he had disappeared and now because I seemed fine he wanted to come back and mess up my head with no explanation, no apology… nothing! I removed my hand from his grip and pushed him away.

Me: I am not going anywhere with you Okey.

Okechukwu: Stop being stubborn Bella. Let’s go

I heard a voice behind me.

Voice: The lady said no.

It was Yinka who had just returned with our drinks in his hands.

Okechukwu: Stay out of this, it’s none of your business. She is mine.

Me: I am not yours Okechukwu!

Yinka: Let’s not cause a scene. I think you should just leave.

He said to Okechukwu as he moved closer and stood between Okechukwu and I. Okechukwu tried to circle around him to get to me but Yinka used his elbow to shove him out of the way because his two hands where occupied with the drinks he was holding. Okechukwu wasn’t expecting the shove so he staggered and almost fell but he was able to regain his balance. The next thing I saw was Okechukwu’s fist connecting with Yinka’s jaw and the glasses in Yinka’s hands flying towards me.